One More Thing

When I was 14 I was driving my grandparents new 1960 pontiac down the road (no license of course). My oldest brother was with me- well I hit some ice, spun out, and landed in some field, I blamed it on my brother of course and nobody knew that I did it.!

OK - I got tagged.

CherkyB musta run out of people to tag, as I am sure I was on the bottom of his list. So I will try to come up with 5 things about me that are secrets - hey I don't have any secrets- everybody already knows all about me because I am selfish and love to talk about myself.

1. When I was a kid (about 100 years ago), I taught myself how to play the accordion by taking my father's accordion and playing it when he wasn't home. I was actually quite musical and could play the piano, violin, viola, trumpet, harmonica and accordion. I was in the school orchestra and did play first violin. Can't do any of the above now.

2. When I was a teen, I was a very good ice skater and roller skater. I actually had one of those little felt skating skirts and would go the the Hyde Park skating rink several times a week in the winter. In the summer I would go to the pool. Can't do any of the above now.

3. When I was a teen, I worked on a chicken farm and processed 10,000 eggs a day- I would collect them, wash them, candle them, grade and pack them. We would have dead chicken wars- you haven't lived until you were hit with a dead black rotted gangerine chicken. I used to go home and jump right in the river off the dock - clothes and all. Those were the days when I knew how to swim. We used to take inner tubes and hitch hike about 5 miles up river and then get on the tubes and float home. Can't do any of the above now.

4. I lost my virginity to a married man. He is now deceased. Along with two husbands and all my boyfriends. My kids call me the black widow. Can't do any of the above now.

5. I used to be skinny and rode my bike 10 miles a day. I walked all around Grand Island with some friends and the Army guys that were stationed at the Nike base on the island. Can't do any of the above now.

So there you have it!

Go Home tomorrow!

The feast was quite a success. I will say that is the most delicious turkey I ever had. Brother #1 injected it with some type of butter Cajun seasoned stuff. It comes with a syringe, and you inject the stuff under the skin all around the bird. It was excellent, as was the ham and stuffing and taters and gravy and salad and cranberries with oranges, punkin pie with coolwhip. Had ham and turkey sammwiches for lunch and went to real Mexican for supper. I had steak fajitas that were delicious (almost as good as my son's). Earlier I went to Postie and W's place and glued heads onto stuffed material pincushions. They are kinda cute (I guess).

Last year I started crocheting something and went to work on it and could not find the book that had the pattern in it. I lookmed thru every single book I had, not once but twice and could not find it anywhere. Well yesterday I found it - in Postie's living room - about 850 miles away from home. Will wonders never cease!

Anyhow- I go home tomorrow, and have to at least do a load of laundry sp I have clean unders for work Monday. A good time was had by all Damn It!

Day 3

V- A's mother passed away this am about 15 min after A and #1 brother got to the nursing home. Then everybody came back here and Postie brought the cookie making stuff back here (sans pan) and I made oatmeal raisin and toll house cokkies and generally just wasted away the day. We postponed the feast until tomorrow due to circumstances beyond our control. Postie and W went home around 4 PM before it got dark. E and J (A's sister and husband) showed up around 5 pm and brother #1 fixed this delicious chicken curry sauce to have over rice and a nice salad for dinner. Tomorriw I am to go to Posties for part of the day, while Brother #1, #2, and J go straighten up the rental storage to make room for the rest of V's stuff. Then they have to go the the assisted living where she was and get the rest of her furniture - bed and dresser and a few other things - and take them to the rental storage place. Then A and brother #1 will cook the rest of the feast (some of it was prepared ahead of time) and we will all congregate her for the feast.

Then there will be only 2 more days until I can go home - be it ever so humble and all that. But all in all the visit has not been too bad except for V's passing. A seems to be doing quite well- she accepted it a few days ago that the end was very near.

Getting colder here and quite windy. The back deck has several birdfeeders which attract many different kinds of feathered friends, along with squirrels and a rapoon or two, all of which I have seen this evening. Very amusing.

A good time is being had by most, Damn It!

DAY 2

It is Wednesday evening. Today Postie and W came over quite early and the oldest brother, Postie and W, and myself went to buy Postie a new teakettle. We stopped at a craft place (highland Craqft Guild) which had all handmade stuff like quilts and wood carvings, pottery. woven articles, mosiacs etc all hand made by locals. It was quite awesome and very expensive. Then the Oldest brother or brother #1 to simplify matters, took me to see some of the sites of downtown Asheville. It looke the same as Barfalo, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Fridays, Applebees, etc. etc. Well we went to a place called BoJangles for lunch that had cajun chicken as its sppecialty. I got that with some dirty rice and it was goood. Then we made a trip to the grocery store, as I wanted to make some oatmeal cookes. Postie claimed she had everything we needed.
ME: "Ma, do you have oatmeal"?
Postie: "Yes"
W: "No."
ME: "Well how much do you have, Ma?"
Postie: "How do I know?"

So I put some oatmeal in the cart.

ME: "Ma, do you have raisins?"
Postie: "Yes, we have raisins".
W: "But they are stale- better get some fresh".
Postie: "Well, what's wrong with stale?"

So I puts a box of raisins in my cart.

Me: "Ma, do you have flour"?
Postie: Yes I have flour".
Me: "How much flour do you have?"
Postie: "How do I know?"

So into the cart goes a bag of flour.

Me: "Ma, do you have brown sugar?"
Postie: "Yes."
W: "No."
Me: "How much brown sugar do you have?"
Postie: "none"

OK - that went into the cart, along with nuts, eggs and butter AND A COOKIE PAN! I'm sure glad that Postie had everything I needed to make the cookies.

Well then we went back to Brother#1 and Postie decided to take a nap instead of going to her house and makeing cookies. So I helped Brother #1 out in the kitchen for quite a while, as his wife A was in the Hospice with her mother who is no doubt terminal - in a coma - and is getting no nourishment nor liquids at this stage.

A has been there from about 7AM and comes home for dinner and then goes back until 9:00.

Well Brother #2 arrived tonight from near Atlanta, and brought his 4 legged companion Ginger. Now there are 2 dogs and 2 cats here. Brother #3 called and is not going to be able to make it at all. However A's sister and husband are driving in tomorrow from Lancaster PA so we will either have an early dinner (3:00) and then another meal much later in the evening with the sister and hubby, or wait until late and all eat together. It will probably be plan A, as Postie and W do not like to drive home after dark- these roads are treacherous after dark.

Thats all for now and a good time will be had by all DAMN IT!

I Have Arrived!

Thanks to the modern drug, Antivert, I had a non-eventful flight. The only downfall was that we left Buffalo late, which put me into Charlotte 20 minutes late, which only gave me about 20 min to go from terminal B to terminal E which of course was about 1000000 miles away. I made it just as they were boarding for Asheville. Otherwise everything else was ok. Postie was slightly put out because I am sleeping at the brothers instead of her little one room apt which they keep at about 90 degrees. Here I get my own room, my own bathroom and I can open the patio door to cool off. It is quite warm here.

Anybody want a real thrill? It is all mountain windy very small lane roads here. Wel go in the car with an 88 yr old woman at the wheel who is going about 45 and then slams on the brakes at every turn or corner. I had my foot pushing on the floor the whole time. Then we get on a 6 lane highway and guess who is driving down the middle of the dotted line taking up two lanes. Good Grief. I told the brother that he can take me to Posties house thank you very much.

We went to Outback tonite - bloomin onion and steak and salad and taters. Yum yum yum. Tomorrow we will go shopping fof a teakettle for Postie (her late birthday present) and then come back to the brothers and start preparing stuff for the Turkey feast. It is unknown if Unkle D and his woman will be coming, as she has strep throat and their new appliances for their new house may be delivered Wed or Fri - in which case they have to be in Georgia and can not do the 2.5 hr drive. here. It is anybody's guess as to the other Unkle D- if he shows he show - if not - oh well. Also the brother's daughter may or may not show. Great to know exactly how many people to cook for, no?

We also stopped at the nursing home to see the brother's mother-in-law. She seems to be in a coma and was totally unaware that we were there. Thank God she seems comfortable and not in any pain. She is getting no nourishment now so it is just a matter of time.

These people sure keep their houses hot- I think I will go outside and cool off as I am very warm. A Good time will be had by all, Damn it.

Doktor Visit

Well, ever since she became engaged, Dr, Baldandhairy has actually spent more time with me than she used to. Anyway, she gave me som tussin with codeine cough medicine, antivert for vertigo and something else for anxiety that I really don't need. So I should be all set for my big adventure to North Carolina next week. Wonderful. Time to go for another back treatment on the rack - a good time will be had by all.

Wazzup?

Its a beautiful warm sunny day in Barfalo today. I went to Dr. Baldandhairy to see if she would prescribe me some antivert to prevent me from puking on the plane next week when I go to Asheville. She gave me a script for it, along with Robitussin w/codeine for this damn coff coff from post nasal drip from a sinus infection.

Since it was so nice out, I put all my planters away for the winter and put the hose away and put on the storm window on the back door. That little bit of physical brought on a bout of coughing so bad I thought I was about to coff up a lung.

My life is so boring I have nothing to write about. I have no new boyfriend, so I don't have to attend any more wakes in the near future. Q came over Sunday and we went to Michaels Store and ate pisgetti for breakfast.

Ellie and I are getting the cars into Tommy on Monday for oil changes and mine needs inspection. Q is going to meet us and we will go to Fridays to celebrate Ellie's Birthday. Happy Birthday to Ellie.

Thats all I have to report for now....

Day 2

Procedure was a little painful today - I could really feel the back "pulling apart". When I was done I felt like Robbie the Robot for about 5 min - very stiff and wobbly legs. After that I felt fine. I went grocery shopping tonight and brought all the groceries in and put them away with minimal pain. The first time in years. So I guess I will have to say that it is working so far- after only 2 treatments. I'm impressed!

Work was so dead this week - i got there about 2:45 this afternoon and left before 7:30 and went to the store. Will work probably 4 hrs tomorrow. Going to get Hairdo in the am. Gonna hang with Q again on Sunday. That is all.

Midevil Torture Rack

I had the first of 20 treatments today on the drx9000 and it was certainly different. You lay on this table (they start you standing up and it tilts down) and they strap you in with a lot of different straps. Then it goes through cycles that last about 2 min each, which gently pulls your spine. It was a tad uncomfortable but nothing drastic. You stay on this for about 1/2 hr.

Then I got this back belt to wear all the time except for sleeping and showering. It is extremely well made and comfortable, It really didnt bug me until just now - I had it on for over 12 hours. The belt is about 9" wide and restricts your movements big time. (trying to wipe is a real chore).





I also got a bunch of horse pills, omega 3, and joint anti-inflammatories and bone strenghteners etc. I have to drive abou 5 -20oz bottles of water or diet tea per day. I mentioned it to Randy at work yesterday and when I came in today, there was a whole large case of 1.5 L bottles of diet raspberry white tea sitting in my office. I totally cracked up! I managed to drink a whole bottle during my shift plus another bottle of black tea and a whole bottle of water with Crystal Lite at home. I feeling like I am floating. (or bloating as the case may be).

Tomorrow I get fitted for the custom made inserts for my shoes.

Well the Dr. said I was not to lift anything or bend over. Well how else was I supposed to take the recycling out to the road for the garbage tomorrow. How else was I supposed to feed the cats, or clean the poop out of the litter box. How am I supposed to do laundry and change the litter box? How about grocery shopping? It is impossible not to bend from the waist. Good Grief - I don't have a maid. I wont be able to rake leaves or cut the grass even. I can probably cut the grass but will not be able to pull the rope to start the mower. I guess I will not be able to follow all the instructions after all.

Well off to bed - have to do it all over again tomorrow.

FINISHED AT LAST

It is finally done. This is the actual cross stitch that I just finished last night. This is not the picture in the book. I started this in January and worked on it for quite a few hundred hours. I don't know what I am going to do with it now- probably put it in a frame and hang it somewhere. The left hand edge got cut off a little - there is another tree there just like on the right side.

Well my road trip is cancelled. Q says she can not afford to go and is afraid of running into bad weather. So I will again attempt to fly the friendly skies. I will not take any antibiotics or pain pills on an empty stomach this time.

Did you ever wonder how many toilets are being flushed at this very minute? I have.

Q came over Sunday and I made pisgetti (delicious). We spend the afternoon crafterbating. I have about 5 different projects started. She is in to WWII stuff as her father was in the 29th Division and she is making a diorama with 1:72 scale stuff. I found her a tank on e-bay and she was thrilled. So I went on the internet and found her a whole bunch of pictures of men in the 29th and managed to print out about 20 on a heavy stock paper so she can put them in her scrapbooks. There was also a website to purchase pictures at about 20 cents apiece that I will do for her. She is too cheap to get a computer. I wanted to give her my old one but she didnt want to fork out the $20/month for internet service.

Well, unlike CherkyB, I am unable to think of anything exciting to write about. I lead a boring life with two cats for company. Maybe I should get a hamster!

ROAD TRIP

After my last experience attempting to fly, I jokingly said to my friend Q - "Hey. do you wanna go with me to North Carolina- we can drive down". Well I was only kidding, but she said yes she would like to do that. So the grey cells started churning and the wheels started turning and I said "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm".

So damn if we are not going to do it. I am returning to work tomorrow to cut this "vacation" short to give me extra time over Turkey week. We will probably take two days each way as we are not spring chickens anymore - it is more like slow chickens. As far as I know ALL the brothers will be there along with Postie and Wally. A good time will be had by all Damn it!

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GUACAMOLE WITH THAT?

Well I almost made it to Denver. We were half way to Detroit when I broke out in a cold sweat and got the "tingles". I said to myslef. "Self, what the F**K". Then in a minute or so it went away. A couple minutes later it returned with a vengenge and my tummy did flip flops. Knowing I was about to toss my cookies, I grabbed my little carry on cow purse and promptly inserted my stomach contents (only water) into it. In a minute all symptoms subsided and all was well. When I got off the plane and started walking into the terminal it was all I could do to keep from passing out- I was extemely dizzy and probably looked like I was drunk. Well they had a couple wheelchairs at the end of the tunnel which were waiting for people who needed them but I plopped into one and immediately upchucked into my purse again. The paramedics were called. Meanwhile I got to go to the john pretty damn bad so while I was waiting, i went to the bathroom. In a minute or so a man was in the bathroom saying "WHo in here needs help?" I yelled from in the stall that I would be out in a minute. Well I cam out about 5 lbs lighter and the paramedics checked me over and I felt pretty good by then and finally said I was OK, so they left.

I had about 5 min to go until boarding for Denver when I almost passed out from dizziness and they called the paramedics back again. The girl at the counter said when I come back to the airport just tell them what happened and they will get me on a plane. Meanwhile my luggage was going to stay in Detroit. This time they carted me off to the nearest hospital in Wayne. I upchucked a couple times in the ambulance, cracking jokes all the time of course. Got to the hospital and they tried and tried and tried to find a vein - no luck of course. I am black and blue in both arms and both hands. Finally they gave me a shot of Phenergan and two litte orange pills for dizziness. I had already taken a phenergan tablet on the plane to no avail.

After a little snooze, I felt much better and was released from the ER. I had them call me a cab and back to the airport I went. I went to the Northwest counter and the bitch told me I had to purchase a whole new ticket to which I said "OH no I don't! Well I still had not decided if I should continue on to Denver or return to Barfalo. Well the daughters decided for me and Barfalo it was. Well anyway, after haggling with the bitch at the counter for a while, she got me a booking on the next flight to Barfalo which left at 5 PM. It was now only about 1:30. I told her that my suitcase was there in Detroit and to please make sure it got on the plane with me. She only had about 3 1/2 hrs to relay that message.

OK- so here I am in the Detroit airport with a few hours to kill so I meanders into Borders books and buy me a new Stephen King that I hadn't read. By this time I was starting to get hungry and what do I see but a La something or the other - Mexican. So I meanders in and look at the menu. Hm... A mexican steak sammwich with Jack cheese and Pico de gallo and nachos and salsa on the side. Ok I order it. "Would you like guacamole and sour cream with that"? "No, thanks - just extra salsa." Yum - it went down quite easily. Do I see carrot cake on the menu? Yes I do so I order a slice of carrot cake. The cute waiter comes back and says that he is sorry but they are all out of carrot cake.

OK I will have the New York cheesecake instead. So I tops off my Mexican with a slice of cheesecake with gooey honey dripped all around the side of the plate. It was really quite good. So I dawdle there for a while and still have two hours to kill. A little nap is in order. I find a nice quiet section where nobody is waiting and settle down for a little snooze. Waking up all refreshed I go to the john and meanders over to my gate to wait for my plane to board. Boy do I have a great seat! 5B- right behind 1st class. I get on the plane and get all settled and guess what happens next??????

Nothing - the plane takes off and the ride to Barfalo was totally uneventful. I get to Barfalo and wait and wait for my suitcase. Hehe - fooled again. Go into the Northwest office, where the girl starts punching in stuff into the computer and lo and behold my suitcase is still in Detroit. She makes arrangements for it to get on the 9:00 flight to Barfalo and it will be delivered to my house. I wait and wait - no phone call.

Today after talking to somebody at the 1-800 number who told me I would have to go to the airport to find it - I blew my top and said I will not go - you people will find it and deliver it to my house. Well she finally decided to do her job and tracked it down in Denver. Wonderful. She put me on hold for the longest time and then came back and said it would arrive in Barfalo tonight. Well I finally got a call from the delivery person who said he had it and would deliver it to my house within the hour.... tick tock... that was about 90 minutes ago at least. tick..tock.. I am still waiting. ...Maybe I will go out for Chinese tomorrow with Q.

Meanwhile it was a gorgeous day in Barfalo so I took advantage of it and bought a few perennials and planted them and cut the grass. I am very sad not to see the grandchildrens as I had packed some craft projects to make with them.

Now I am planning my November trip to Asheville NC. I wonder if I should drive there instead?

BLADDER INFECTION

Ok here it is two days before my trip and I have a freaking bladder infection. I peed in my pee cup and put it into a tiny container which I stick in my bra. So when and if I go to the drs I will pretend to pee there and dump it into their cup.

I called Dr. Baldandhairy's office and told them I have another infection and need Cipro. Well they gave me the song and dance about how busy they are and I can't get in until 4PM - no good I have to go to work at 2. I said I am going out of town and I need the Cipro damn it. So I have to call back in an hour.

Well there is always urgent care in Fort TomCollins. After all - what is a trip for me if I don't end up in Urgent Care or the hospital or something? But I don't really want to wait 2 more days. I do not want this to turn into a kidney infection - extremely painful.

It is raining a little-- dark and dreary day - the kind of day that you just want to stay home curled up in a little ball in bed or on the couch. Unfortunately one does have to go make a living however meager.

Thats all for now folks!

H A L I T O S I S !!!!

What would you do if a co-worker had breath that made you gag? He came into my office Friday night and it was all I could do not to upchuck. It is extremely vile - smells like sombody died in his mouth about a month ago. Anyway I have to work closely with him Thursday night so he can have a training refresher to attempt to do my job next week while I am visiting CherkyB and the fambly. Well because I don't want to have to toss my cookies, I put a small bottle of scope in his mail slot when nobody was looking - hope he takes the hint. I will come supplied with breath mints just in case. Maybe a supply of very strong minty cough drops that I can chew on also.

Is it appropriate to wear a gas mask while working? I didn't think so.

boo

hoo

SENILITY SETS IN

I was wrapping up a Christmas present for CherkyB and I needed to get a pen to write on the label. So I walked into the office, opened the desk drawer, and grabbed the implement, walked back out to the living room to write the label and realized that I was holding a magnifying glass. So I had to make another trip for the damn pen. The Christmas spending for that branch of the fambly is complete.

Fall is finally here - I managed to cut the grass without becoming dripping wet with sweat and BO. It was nice. Elle323 and D are coming over for pisgetti tonight. Hope I can remember to cook it!

Q came over yesterday and we went to the Olive garden never ending pasta bowl for $8.99. It sucked - I enjoy my own cooking more than eating out about 99% of the time. My son's cooking is the total exception to the rule, and the Outback and Scrotch and Sirloin are worth the $$. The Pumpkin Cheesecake at the Olive Garden was delicious - but it should be for $6.25 / slice. Ye Gads!

One week from now I will be in the company of my darling daughter, her hubby, and my grandchildrens. A good time will be had by all Damn it!

drx9000

I just came back from the 2nd consultation with the chiroquacker. I have been accepted for the treatments on the DRX9000. I will have 20 treatments - 4 times a week for 5 weeks. I will also get a back "belt" which I will wear all the time except showering and sleeping. I will also get shoe inserts that are molded to my feet and are specially made.

I not only have 2 herniated discs, but also have degererative disc disease. It seems that when I am sitting, I have a 227% stress on my left side- lower spine and surrounding muscles. When I stand it shifts to the right side with a 200% stress. The dr. said that is not very common. So my spine is literally fighting with itself every time I stand or sit. Good Grief- no wonder I have trouble walking.

This treatment has an 86% success rate. I asked them how many patients they had that it did not help, and they said there was only one man and he was in a wheelchair to begin with. They have a lot of patients that are much larger and fatter than me. There was a lady there today who is very very large. I was accepted also because of the "risk" factor of living alone and having to do everything for myself and not having a man around to lift heavy things.

This back belt will prevent me from moving the wrong way which will help the healing process. The only drawback besides the price $5600, is that to replenish the disc, I am to drink about 120 oz. of water, teas, jello, soups per day. Oh well - I have a lot of Crystal Lite.

Im sure a good time will be had by all Damn it!

Just as I thought.

Nobody knows about this blog. So I can actually say things I would never say to anybody. CherkyB is actually a robot created by his Mrs. She made him to be a perfect husband and father. So far he is doing ok thanks to her gentle and loving guidance. (yes, robots need love too!) He brings home the bacon, can lift heavy things and also is an expert at cleaning up barf and poop. He can be compassionate and witty as the situation calls for. It was very smart of the Mrs to install the know-how to fix things around the house into his brain.

He has fathered two beautiful offspring (Yes robots need love too) that seem to have extraordinary intelligence.

He is also able to discuss potty humor when in the company of those who also love potty humor.

He should consider himself extremely lucky that the Mrs chose him over Boris who fought for her hand by lost. The Mrs is also highly intelligent and was one of those children who were always at the top of their class and a favorite of the teachers. So may they live happily ever after and may a good time be had by all Damn it!

Here I am

Due to popular demand, I will have my own blog. Lets see how long it takes for somebody to find it. 10/10/2007.

I will start with a general description. I am old, fat and ugly. I love to eat and am very flatulent. I have an extremely dirty mind and am prone to express myself verbally at any occasion. I work a lot and have very large breasts.

Enough said. How are you?

I am going to go visit my oldest child and her family in beautiful Fort Tom Collins soon. I am looking forward to seeing my grandchildrens, as I have not seen them in a year. Hopefully nobody will barf, but that is probably asking too much, as that seemed to be a daily occurrence on my last visit. Not to mention my hospital visit which gave CherkyB something to blog about.

I am also going to visit my parents and brothers in Asheville North Carolina over Turkey day. Hmm- it seems that exactly a year ago at Turkey time I spent the night in the ER at a hospital in Charlotte, which was a layover coming home from Fort TomCollins after visity CherkyB and family.I hope that does not happen again, as it was the worst hospital I ever was in as far as care goes. Not only did somebody come and help when I was being sick, they put in an IV which infiltrated, and tried to bill Medicare which I do not have. What a bunch of morons. Needless to say, I will wait till I get home to become sick- thank you very much.

Thats all for now folks!